


The eyes I get lost in.

by NintendoSatoRi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A lot of feels, Akaashi Keiji Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blindness, Bokuto is in love with Akaashi's eyes, Canon Universe, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fukuroudani, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Endings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, basically an Akaashi eyes appreciation fic, fluff with three endings, i hope this is good, one angst ending, one fluff and angst ending, one fluff ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NintendoSatoRi/pseuds/NintendoSatoRi
Summary: Bokuto was helplessly falling for a specific set of deep blue eyes. Or maybe he already had, he couldn't tell.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off of the one song "Eyes blue, like the Atlantic and I'm going down, like the Titanic."
> 
> Includes Ending one: Fluff ending

Bokuto didn't know when it happened but he could often catch himself staring at a certain setter, smiling to himself.  
Whenever they talked, he was engrossed in Akaashi's eyes.

The different shades of blue, how it glinted in the sunlight and made the usual dark color change from sky-blue to baby blue and then back to the navy color. Sometimes it even had a faint green in it, making it seem so much more captivating.

Bokuto really didn't know when, but he knew he was falling hard.

Maybe it started when Akaashi joined their volleyball club. He had already been interested, since Akaashi was a setter but when he first talked to him..  
Bokuto nearly fell over in his chair, shaking his head to get back to normal. The last thing he wanted to do was disrupt the class and have the teacher ask him what he was thinking about.

Alas, he couldn't help but let out a small hum, remembering how Akaashi's eyes had caught him off-guard; they were piercing, sharp. And such a beautiful shade of blue.

_He had walked into the gym with a powerful aura around him. Bokuto remembered how it made him stop in his tracks before everyone lined up to introduce themselves._

_"My name is Akaashi Keiji, first year. I formerly attended Mori Middle School and my position was setter. I look forward to playing with you!"_

_Bokuto could only stare as Akaashi bowed down in front of them before retreating in order to let the other first year's introduce themselves and eventually the rest of the team. He was enchanted with how Akaashi carried himself, the way he acted._

_He found himself wanting to play with Akaashi, trying to get his attention to the best of his abilities though it didn't seem to be all too necessary when Akaashi seemed more than willing to work with him._

_"I saw a match when I was still in middle school. You're impressive, Bokuto-san."  
Bokuto beamed at the compliment, smiling brightly. "Thank you Akaashi! I have no doubt that you'll be amazing as well!" He said, voice loud and happy as always as he looked Akaashi in the eyes.  
Thats when the first wave of silence hit him, the beauty knocking the air out of his lungs as he stared before he let out a sound of astonishment.  
"Akaashi! You've got such nice eyes!"_

_"Thank you, Bokuto-san."_

_It didn't matter that everyone was watching them, especially if he had those eyes to stare into instead._

Bokuto was completely infatuated.

He was still humming as the bell rang, indicating the end of school. He was excited for afternoon practice, resulting in him getting up from his seat with a yawn and stretching before he made his way out of the classroom swiftly, eyes lighting up as he saw Akaashi leaning against a wall, holding an onigiri and a paper bag.  
"Akaashi!"

"Oh, there you are Bokuto-san." Akaashi said, walking up to the upperclassmen and handing him the food and bag, which Bokuto gladly accepted albeit being a bit confused.

"Your stomach was growling loudly during morning practice and I saw you skipping lunch in order to practice your spikes in the gym, I assumed you didn't properly eat yet. I hope this will suffice until you can get a proper meal in." Akaashi told him as a help, stumbling back slightly when Bokuto suddenly threw himself at him.

"Akaashi!" He wailed, taking a bite behind Akaashi's back, "You're so thoughtful! You're amazing Akaashi!" He said, though it was muffled because he had practically bitten off half the onigiri.

"Bokuto-san, please don't talk with your mouth full, it's not very appetizing and it's also rude." Akaashi sighed, making sure Bokuto had his bag before he guided them down the hallway.

"Sorry Akaashi." Bokuto mumbled out past his food, walking beside Akaashi as they made their way out of the building, towards the gym.

"The bag has two kare pans in it. I hope you don't mind." Akaashi said, glancing at Bokuto as he headed down the stairs, only looking back when he heard a sniffle.

"Akaashi! You're so amazing!" Bokuto was on the verge of tears as he nearly threw himself at his kouhai again, instead opting for grabbing the food and eating it appreciatively.

"Be careful not to eat too quickly. We need you to be fully functional while practicing so that means no stomach aches." Akaashi mumbled, glancing away at the compliment before dragging the still teary eyed upperclassmen towards the gym entrance.

Bokuto was on point during practice, Akaashi noticed. He saw how Bokuto was jumping higher, hitting harder, got the tosses that he himself messed up a little because of how distracted he got whenever Bokuto jumped up in that form of his.

It was beautiful.

They did a three on three match, something that Bokuto didn't mind but he much rather enjoyed it when his entire team was on his side, feeling much more at ease when it was like that.  
Nonetheless, he and Akaashi were in the same team and that made him happy and compliant enough to work with. 

"Bokuto-san!" Bokuto could hear Akaashi's pleasant voice thrumming in his ears as he jumped into the air, seeing an open spot and going for it, spiking it into the far opposite corner, barely missing Konoha who was ready to receive but had been a tad bit too slow.

Two whistle blows then rang out, making the former jump into the air and yell, running up to high five Akaashi as if they had won the nationals. "Akaashi we won!" 

"Indeed we did, Bokuto-san." Akaashi said, monotone as ever as they began packing up for the day. Or at least tried to. 

"Akaashi! Toss to me a few more times!" And turning quickly to his managers and coach he added, "I'll make sure to pack up before it gets too late, I promise!" 

"And I'll make sure that Bokuto-san keeps his promise." Akaashi answered when all three heads turned towards him, nodding once he said that.

That's how Akaashi found himself tossing to his upperclassmen until the sun was beginning to set, forcing Bokuto to stop and pack up.

"Akaashi! I don't wanna stop!" Bokuto had been whining while he begrudgingly threw the volleyballs back into the cart while Akaashi took care of the net, complaining all the way until they stood outside of the gym. 

The sun was gradually going down and Akaashi found himself staring into Bokuto's golden eyes, shining even brighter with the added orange tint in the air.

Luckily, Bokuto had lost himself in the deep blue of Akaashi's eyes as well, speechless for once as they stared.  
Golden clashed with a multitude of blue shades.

Bokuto lost himself within those eyes, not noticing how a smile took over his face. 

\-- _This is where the other endings would start:_

The same eyes he had been losing himself in and still was to this day were now looking at him with such fondness that Bokuto could melt right into the picnic mat he was laying in.  
"Bokuto-san. You're spacing out again." Akaashi said, a slight smile pulling at his lips, as he kept his head turned towards the other.

Bokuto had taken Akaashi out on yet another date, this time much more romantic. He had put thought into it, managing to find a quiet enough park for them to enjoy the sky in.  
Although he didn't need to enjoy the sky when Akaashi's eyes were here, so much more blue, much more enticing and so much more enchanting.

He fell in love with him.  
Bokuto fell in love with everything from Akaashi. His personality, the way he acted so determined on court, the way he understood Bokuto. Of course his looks played a part but what had caught Bokuto's attention were Akaashi's eyes.  
The saying was right.

The eyes truly are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them. 

He could feel every raw emotion through looking at Akaashi's eyes, he could see the beauty in them, the love. He could see everything.  
And while he could see Akaashi's emotions, he could see a beautiful starry night, the deep blue reminding him of a night out, the sky blue reminding him of the sky right now, the baby blue of the little gift Akaashi had given him. The tiny bit of green reminded him of the ocean.

So very beautiful.

"Well Akaashi.. if you didn't have such beautiful blue eyes that I can't take my eyes away from, then maybe I wouldn't space out."

"Bokuto-san.. where did you learn to use your words like that?" Akaashi mumbled, now a faint blush on his cheeks as he glanced away.

"Don't look away from me Akaashi. Let me see your gorgeous eyes again."

Akaashi had never been one to refuse Bokuto.

"These are the eyes I get lost in." Bokuto mumbled, a happy smile on his face.

Akaashi could only smile appreciatively.


	2. The eyes I get lost in. - Angst ending.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ending two of "The eyes I get lost in."   
> Aka, alternate angst ending.

The same eyes he once got lost in were now staring at him, lifeless.

Bokuto let another sob escape his lips. "Akaashi.. please, come back to me. Akaashi, don't leave me." He whispered, hugging the body he dug out of the crumbles of the school close to his own. "Akaash, come on. You can't leave me now." He continued, though he couldn't stop crying.

The eyes that were once full of color and life were now the exact opposite.  
Dull and lifeless.

"Akaashi, come back to me." Bokuto couldn't stop mumbling the five words over and over again, ignoring the trail of blood rolling down the side of his head as he held the still warm body close. "Akaashi please you can't leave me."

_"You can't!"_

He couldn't help but yell, the pounding in his own head not stopping as he finally tore off his eyes from Akaashi's, staring in both shock and disgust at the place where Fukurodani Academy once stood.  
No one had expected it, honestly. But that didn't stop the earthquake to destroy part of Tokyo. Bokuto could still feel the vibrations throughout his body.

"Akaashi." He swore he was losing his mind, shaking his former kouhai as if it would wake him from his death sleep.  
"Akaashi, don't you dare leave me!" He shouted again, not noticing how the paramedics were approaching him.

"Wh- _Let go of me! Let go right now!_ I need-" Bokuto couldn't do anything but thrash and scream as he saw himself being dragged away from Akaashi's body, seeing another person silently close Akaashi's eyes.

The reality hit him like a train while he was being taken to the hospital, sobs racking his body.

"Akaashi.. no, Keiji." He whispered, as though it would bring him back to life. He was laying in a hospital bed suddenly, a faint pounding in his head still noticeable as he reached up to touch the bandage covering half his head.

"Where is he? Where is he?!" He then said, trying to sit up straight but being pushed back down by Konoha.  
"Konoha-"

"Please don't talk Bokuto. You need to rest." The other just responded, eyes bloodshot and puffy, his nose running and Bokuto didn't know whether it was because he was crying or because he had been sick.

"Akaash-"

"He's dead." A fresh wave of tears spilled past both Konoha's and Bokuto's eyes, though Bokuto couldn't help the trembling of his shoulders, his entire body.

Everything was dark, he didn't know what he even had to look forward to. The beautiful blue eyes he lost himself in were lost forever; its beauty stolen far too soon.

The person he had loved the most was gone and he couldn't do anything.

\--

The funeral was silent. Bokuto didn't want to say anything but he couldn't just allow Akaashi to be buried six feet under without saying a few last words to him.  
"We now ask Bokuto Koutarou to the stand."

The mentioned stood up stiffly, though his movements were sickly, nearly sluggish as he stood beside the casket. He was close to breaking down again but instead he kept his head tilted high, looking at everyone.  
They were crying.

Bokuto's bottom lip trembled as he shakily took out his notes. "Akaashi.." He had to take a deep breath as the tears began forming. "He was my best friend. Actually, he was more than that. Much more. I dare even say soulmate." His voice that had been a weak whisper at first gradually grew stronger as the tears fell, making the blue ink writing unreadable.  
Bokuto scoffed, shoving the notes into his pocket.

He didn't need written down words to announce his love for his now passed away boyfriend.

"Aka- Keiji was my everything, in a way. He understood me, got me through many things when my 'emo mode' was there." He said, looking apologetically at his teammates who didn't seem to mind. "He was able to get me back to my feet. He was the reason we were able to win many matches and I love him for that. He allowed us.. me to see the wonders of winning match after match." Bokuto paused, glancing away.

"And after every match, I'd find myself staring into his eyes. They were so beautiful, so breathtaking. Everyone knew that Akaashi was an all-round beautiful person.." He stopped again at the ever so light chuckles of agreement he got.

"But his eyes were absolutely captivating. I could get lost in them at any time. It didn't matter what I was doing, the moment I looked into his eyes, I was a goner." He turned his head away from the mic as he let out a sob, wiping the tears on his sleeve.

"I just wish I could have told him that." He couldn't continue after that, needing to get away from the stand as he rushed back to his seat.  
Everything was overwhelming, he had to take a breath.

It was a while before the funeral was over, everyone being allowed to see Akaashi one last time before he was let down.  
Bokuto slowly walked up to the casket, looking down at Akaashi's pale face, eyes closed.

He was still so beautiful.

Bokuto cracked a small smile, golden eyes shining through the tears.

"I wish I could have seen those beautiful eyes again."

His whisper was soft, though it hung heavily in the air as he left.  
He couldn't take being there anymore.

The room was silent as the door shut behind Bokuto, finally allowing him the privacy of falling to his knees and sobbing heavily.

He wished that the last memory of Akaashi was his beautiful blue eyes staring at him lovingly.

But instead the cold, lifeless eyes were the ones that were engraved into his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if the funeral scene wasn't accurate, I've never been to one or really indulge myself in that topic so I may not have gotten it accurately.


	3. The eyes I get lost in. - Angst/Fluff ending.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ending three of "The eyes I get lost in."  
> Aka, angst/fluff ending. Depends on what you focus more on :)

The same eyes he once got lost in were now hidden by bandages.

Bokuto stared at Akaashi sitting in the hospital bed, tears falling.  
"Akaashi, I'm so sor-"

"Bokuto-san, there's nothing you could have done. There's no need to apologize." Akaashi's voice cut the air, though it was gentle as he reached around to grab Bokuto's hand, having to touch around before actually getting it. It only made Bokuto cry more.

"No! I could have done something! I could ha-"

"You couldn't have stopped the car. You couldn't have known that it would crash into the bus." Akaashi interrupted.

"But-"

"And you couldn't have stopped the shattered glass from getting into my eyes. It was not your fault so _stop_ blaming yourself Koutarou." Bokuto shut up at the use of his given name, looking at Akaashi with teary eyes even though he couldn't see him.

"This is just an inconvenience I'll need to get used to in my everyday life. Although I doubt I'll be able to continue playing volleyball like this." That brought another wave of fresh tears running down Bokuto's cheeks, gasping when they were suddenly encapsulated by cool hands, looking at Akaashi while the latter wiped away the tears with his thumbs.

"Koutarou, please stop crying. I'm okay, see? I'll be okay. This is just.. a permanent problem. But I know you'll be there for me at all times. As long as you're here with me, I'll be happy." Akaashi said, voice clear and strong as he pulled the other off the plastic chair, leaning in and kissing where he would have thought his lips were.

Bokuto chuckled softly when Akaashi's lips instead touched his nose, helping him a little and pecking his lips, the small smile adorning Akaashi's face making his dark day a little brighter.

"I'll always be here for you." He confirmed, nodding in the others grip as he tentatively hugged him before moving away.

His mind was still dark, but with Akaashi's sureness, it would certainly be getting a little brighter, even if it's just a speck a day.

The day Akaashi was let out of the hospital, was the same day Bokuto left as well, never having left from Akaashi's side.

Bokuto was assigned to help Akaashi in school while Akaashi's parents took care of him at home. It was much more of a challenge than Bokuto thought at first, Akaashi nearly falling down stairs and resulting in Bokuto apologizing ten times over and nearly crying again.

But eventually, Akaashi slowly got the hang of it, using the stick to get around when Bokuto wasn't there, though that happened rarely.  
Bokuto was happy to help Akaashi at all times, sometimes nearly making him forget what had happened as he excitedly looked at Akaashi for some words of praise with a bright smile.

The words of praise always came but Bokuto's smile disappeared when Akaashi looked at him with bandaged eyes.

He wasn't allowed to take them off yet, but soon. One more appointment would allow him to switch the bandages for sunglasses so he wouldn't look as suspicious to outsiders.

A long time passed, and one day Bokuto found himself humming as he cooked in the kitchen, perking up slightly when he heard the quiet tapping of the stick hitting the ground, Akaashi finding his way into the living room.  
"Bokuto-san? Are you here?" His voice rang through the air, making Bokuto finish up his cooking and head towards Akaashi.

They had both grown up, years had passed since the car accident that caused Akaashi's loss of eyesight and this had been a normal occurrence for a while now, though Akaashi always managed to still call Bokuto "Bokuto-san" even though he himself would soon be Bokuto-san as well. 

"Good morning Keiji."

"Bo- Koutarou. You scared me." Keiji smiled up at him, eyes closed as he hummed at the feeling of Koutarou's hands resting on his cheeks, the warmth of it flowing through his entire face.

And as they stood in the middle of the living room, soaking up each other's precense, Koutarou opened his mouth.  
"Look at me Keiji."

His eyes opened slowly and sometimes Bokuto would imagine the deep blue he had fallen in love with to be there, staring up at him with love and passion.

But the milky white was portraying the same love, the same emotions and as long as that stayed the same, Bokuto supposed he was fine without the gorgeous blue color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like in the second ending, there's a high chance that I didn't get this accurately, especially when it comes to blindness. I've done some research for the matter but I never got proper answers so I went with the stereotypical "white eyes" that blind people have in movies. I'm sorry if it's not accurate at all but I wouldn't know what else to do.


End file.
